another pointless post, just meant to write it. Bear with me.

Do not ask me what makes me rely so much more frequently on my blogspot.
Perhaps i don't have people to rely on, or 
Perhaps i just need somewhere to share out my feelings.
Again, it's 4:04am, waking up early in the morning to finish undone things, as usual.

I have worked pretty hard for this semester, unintended-ly.
Perhaps just something had happened, makes me feel like making myself busy is the best way to actually stop me frm thinking about those negative things.

So that was yesterday, i got a pretty good results back frm my history midterm, and did a pretty good job for my talk show presentation. 

Things always goes in this way. When you lose something, then you'll gain something back. When you gain something, you have to give up something.

okay fair enough. If things really need to go in this way, and now all these performances are the things which i got back in returned, i deserve to lose something as important as this too.

Again, i know, i guess some close friends knows realized it too. When i posted a post in blogspot, means it's my the time i started to think negatively. And hence I need somewhere to throw out all the negative thinking. So i guess all the recent posts are gonna be 'negative abit' cos i'm throwing my negative power out tho.. LOL

The loneliest situation is:

Smiling to people, being cheerful like usual, but actually feel damn like crying, and you don't know when are you going to collapse. And you shouldn't collapse. People expected you won't and you tell yourself you can't. You have to move on. And then it is when you are so hurt, badly, and you need time to get yourself recovered (God Knows how long it'll take), but you have to act like nothing happened and 'i'm okay already lar' and 'come on u think i'm that useless? I'm Fine!' but actually you are really that stupid useless which can't forget about everything,bad things sad things heart broken things. I have so many people around me, accompanying me but i still feel lonely. My heart has been so far away until no one can actually catch it and knows what's on it. Even myself.


Feel like sleeping. So that i won't think too much. But i have to carry on with my stuffs. zzz
Life's always like that. Helpless, but you still have to move on.