Note to Myself.

(Elite Daily, Kara Nesbitt - Accepting who you are and learning to love being alone are essential to a happy life.)

"Over the course of time, you will learn that many people you thought would always be there will soon disappear. You will be let down time and time again, and eventually discover that the only constant in life is "change".
With each passing day, people begin new relationships, while others end old ones.

I have watched many of my own relationships come to a halting close. New chapters in my life have been slowly written time and time again.

My social circle went from many, to a few that are worthy of my trust and loyalty.

It took numerous occassions and difficult realizations for me to learn to accept the things that have happened in my life, and to accept what is now for what it is. Accepting who I used to be and the mistakes I made as that person, and not letting those mistakes define who I am today.


The next step was realizing that it is okay to be alone.

Grwoing up, if I did not have something to do on a Friday or Saturday night, I was blasting "I'm Just a Kid" by Simple Plan, crying in the dark and cursing off every single person that didn't ask me to hang out.

I'm happy to say that I have come a long way since then, and have learned to appreciate solitude.


I have also realized that getting lost in thoughts and in physicality is a beautiful thing.

Over the years, I have learned that losing yourself and finding your way back makes the experience that much better.


There is no better time than now for you to allow yourself to be happy. It is time to embrace yourself and all that you have to offer.


Be alone, give yourself the chance to learn about yourself, expand your soul and allow yourself to grow. Enable each chapter of your life to help you become a better you.

Press forward, putting one foot in front of other, until you are finally so overwhelmingly confident that you can look back , and see that you have climbed mountains.


" "I think it is very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person." --Oscar Wilde





AN ARROW CAN ONLY BE SHOT BY PULLING IT BACKWARD. SO WHEN LIFE IS DRAGGING YOU BACKWARD WITH DIFFICULTIES, IT MEANS THAT IT IS GOING TO LAUNCH YOU INTO SOMETHING GREAT. SO JUST FOCUS AND KEEP AIMING.

The girl who can't be moved.

I know. I know the messages I sent you on Facebook will never appear to be "seen" anymore.

I still couldn't believe it.

I miss you, still think about you occasionally, still check back our pictures occasionally. Your beautiful face, bubbly personality, charming smile are still in my mind, fresh, like how they were years ago.

We have been through ups and downs, we fought, we quarreled, we hated each other, we cried, we did crazy things, we shopped together, we took selfies at the fitting rooms, we performed and sang together, we sang karaoke for 8 hours, we walked in the rain, we cooked together.. we have done so much more together. It's you that I learned to be more assertive and confident. You have always protected me like a sister, supported me when I acted like a coward, timid little rat.

--

You have always wanted to be loved. All your life, you have always been seeking for a good guy, a good guy who is going to love you, protect you, treat you well, stop your tears, hold your hands and stay by your side till you are old, a good guy whom a great girl like you deserved.

"Grow old with someone I love" is the caption of the cover picture on your Facebook profile. Now tell me which one is harder - to find someone you love? Or to grow old?

I have asked myself 1000 times - why does it always rain the hardest on the people who deserves the sun? All you have wanted is Love, and all you have done your whole life is to love people. Maybe God loves you, just like how much we love you, you this lovely lovingly happy girl, so He decided to keep you by his side.

But God, would you please send her back to us?  You have taken her away from us long enough it's time for her to come home. Please?

--

My dear little Pearly, you might be too busy to read your Facebook and WhatsApp messages, but I will still keep you updated about my life. Have a sweet dream in heaven. You will be dearly missed and I will never. ever. ever. forget about all the memories that we have had together. Say Hi to me sometimes in my dream.

Till next time, X.